Sherlock Holmes (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
seesobserves) wrote2014-01-08 04:08 pm
seesobserves) wrote2014-01-08 04:08 pm
An audio post. (This post is not on the BN community.)
[Sherlock is speaking slowly. By his standards. His words are slurred, and his voice has a sort of lumbering cadence about it that contrasts with his usual monotone.
In other words, it should be of no doubt to anyone that Sherlock Holmes is currently wasted off his face.]
Attention---'ttention everyone. I have been... compiling a mental database of the scent'f varying types of whiskey on a person's breath. Given that a corpse with booze on his breath tells you no more than the fact that he was drinking, but the quality of the alcohol can offer... Shhhh!
[That's in response to the other person there, who's been trying and failing to stop themselves from snickering this entire time. People who know the voice, or know Sherlock's habits well enough, can probably guess that it's Patrick Jane.
There's a pause, while Sherlock waits for the interruption to die down. And then he picks up speaking again as if he hadn't stopped.]
...c'n offer very specific data. Specificity. Is important.
D-you -- it's -- people don't appreciate specificity. They laugh about it. 'Oooh, two hundred and forty six types of tobacco ash. Big joke.' I know ash. Don't ever tell me I don't.
It is not funny. [Patrick's laughing again.] Shut -- stop that. It is not -- it is so not funny. I can't b'lieve this. He's a bastard, ladies n' gentleman. Patrick Jane is a bastard man.
[More laughter, and after a second, Sherlock starts to lose it too. You can hear the grin in his voice now. Through a restrained bout of laughter:] Shut up.
You're a bastard. I can't take you anywhere.
[A pause as he sips his drink. In the background, Patrick offers: "Except crime scenes!"]
'Cept crime scenes. No good crimes lately. You'd think, city like this -- but be careful what you wish for, yes?
Yes.
[As if he means 'saying:'] What was I thinking? Oh yeah. Specific...ness. Is very important. And that's all I'm gonna say. Thank-you-goodnight.
In other words, it should be of no doubt to anyone that Sherlock Holmes is currently wasted off his face.]
Attention---'ttention everyone. I have been... compiling a mental database of the scent'f varying types of whiskey on a person's breath. Given that a corpse with booze on his breath tells you no more than the fact that he was drinking, but the quality of the alcohol can offer... Shhhh!
[That's in response to the other person there, who's been trying and failing to stop themselves from snickering this entire time. People who know the voice, or know Sherlock's habits well enough, can probably guess that it's Patrick Jane.
There's a pause, while Sherlock waits for the interruption to die down. And then he picks up speaking again as if he hadn't stopped.]
...c'n offer very specific data. Specificity. Is important.
D-you -- it's -- people don't appreciate specificity. They laugh about it. 'Oooh, two hundred and forty six types of tobacco ash. Big joke.' I know ash. Don't ever tell me I don't.
It is not funny. [Patrick's laughing again.] Shut -- stop that. It is not -- it is so not funny. I can't b'lieve this. He's a bastard, ladies n' gentleman. Patrick Jane is a bastard man.
[More laughter, and after a second, Sherlock starts to lose it too. You can hear the grin in his voice now. Through a restrained bout of laughter:] Shut up.
You're a bastard. I can't take you anywhere.
[A pause as he sips his drink. In the background, Patrick offers: "Except crime scenes!"]
'Cept crime scenes. No good crimes lately. You'd think, city like this -- but be careful what you wish for, yes?
Yes.
[As if he means 'saying:'] What was I thinking? Oh yeah. Specific...ness. Is very important. And that's all I'm gonna say. Thank-you-goodnight.
no subject
And I've not been drinking. Unlike you, apparently.
...what is the matter with you? Can I not leave you alone for five minutes at a time?
no subject
Conrad? What's wrong?